my friends

I'm not feeling well when i woke up today, we are here in iloilo for our corss region affilition and we had our hectic schedule as usual. we never thought  that this would happen  and most of the time i kept asking myself of the things that are bothering me right  now....

Frustration

Everyone starts to build dreams that are far too ambitious; it only starts to sink in when we realize that we are living in reality and not in fantasy. Despite the fact that we try our best efforts, it still feels not enough and the hard work was futile. But really, does dreams do come true? Maybe it has something to do with fate, or perhaps with luck.

Confusion starts when we ponder on the things that cause us to lose that dream. Though we can’t avoid trials in life, we feel deprived of something we deserve to have, every time we fail.

Frustration comes when we repeatedly fall and struggle to continue life. We maybe scarred from falling but this will make us strong and invulnerable. Now that I’m in the middle of my journey, it’ll take much patience for me to finish.

I can say I'm afraid—afraid to lose my dream, but I’m not afraid not to win, —I’m afraid to fail…

Life

oads are unpredictable, you don’t know when will it turn and where it’s headed, sometimes you’ll  even get stuck in a hard decision which way to go at crossroads. Life is much like it; it can be erratic and it would not always follow with everything you have in mind.

Life is a journey; first you set- off walking and try to figure out the mysteries that lies in each bend. Later on, you would realize that it’s full of hurdles that you need to overcome to get to the next stage, for you to finish the journey. Then you might ask yourself, “Why should I go to the end?” It’s the question that bothers me right now, you may find the answers at those people along the way; some would say it’s a task to accomplish, others will tell you its fulfillment that they’ll get and sometimes you would find people who would say that they have just to go with the flow.

 There is a point where you’ll slow down and would think that you will not reach the end of the road at the right time. Then you’ll tend to run and forget all of those things that goes along with what have you started.

I have been running since I started and I have fallen so many times, that I would have to start again to learn for myself, but at this point, what have I really learned? Is it much alright to walk and finish the journey with all the people you’ll meet, or to finish it at the right time? All I know right now; that this journey is a learning process, for us to learn things from mistakes, and it’s those mistakes that makes a person learn the real meaning behind this journey.

Change

hange is the permanent thing in this world. It’s the reality and we can’t avoid it, whether it’s for the better or for the worse, but no matter what comes around we should always face it. Though we may lose today’s battle, we always have tomorrow for another chance.

Life is not measured on how hard we fall, but on how determined we are to rise again. I’m speaking from experience for I have many sleepless nights during my accident and it made me think about the fact that life can be cruel and mean. At some point in my struggle, night and day doesn’t differ to me. I’ve spent so much time lost in thought for the answers on my questions about life, but still I can’t figure it out, I guess getting the answers will only ruin the surprise twists in every corner of life. Now I know that life can’t be perfect until you’ll accept it as it was.

There was a time when I’ve opened the window in my room and saw the flickering light of dawn. The warmth gave me a feeling of hope and I’ve guessed that was the day to start and rebuild life’s broken pieces. What I only wish for now; is for the sunrise to give me the same feeling of hope I felt that day. I’ve regret on overlooking this miracle that happens everyday, but now, night and day thus differ to me.

Plans

od has plans for each of us… (I know that passage by heart) but during my darkest moments I have questioned God lots of things that I have to turn back to question myself of what have I done to deserve such thing. What bothers me most; that my test happened during the time where things were going smoothly (although, not perfectly). It was during that moment where I have so much passion; where everything that I’ll encounter would be possible to overcome, where I have the will to accomplish my goals. All of it was gone now; all I have left is I and a frustrated dream for tomorrow.

 At some point, I would cry and question His existence. I know it’s wrong but nothing helps me more, than to take pity for myself and put the blame on someone. I’ve spent so much time staring at the heavens at my sleepless nights, looking for answers to my endless questions about life, I have always asked God for directions and I was hoping that he would guide me now that I’m on crossroads.

There is a point in your life where you think that you could conquer anything, but all of that have gone in a second. Now my perspective has diverted from complex down to a much simpler goal, and that is to know myself and my purpose in life. Although it sounds simple, I think it’s a lot harder to achieve.

I was tested at those times and only God knows whether I have passed or failed His test. I have searched for the things out there that I have forgotten the people behind me and most of all; I have forgotten to know myself. From now on I would always remember that in everything I’ll do, I will not fail, as long as I know my way home. ☺